Are you a computer geek?

It's striking more and more people! Like a plague it sweeps the nation! It knows no bounds - black, white, tall, short, thin, fat, that dweeb sitting next to you - maybe every your family members! Computer Geekdom!

Are you worried about yourself? Do you feel drawn towards computer displays? In shopping malls do you slow down by money machines? Do you drop computer buzzwords like "Disk" and "Mega" in conversation? Do you own a Car-Computer?

If you've answered yes to one of the above, it may already be too late. Do this test now, and see if your future holds fun, fortune and adventure, or if your future holds 3 Meg floppies and a guest appearance on "The Worst of Oprah", a 467 part repeat series.

Try and be honest - remember, you're only cheating yourself.

1. A friend opens a magazine full of scantily-clad members of your preferred sex. Do you:
A. Openly ogle
B. Act non-chalant
C. Comment "Gee, that's got to be at least 400 dpi, color!"
D. Slip the hand down the pants for a bit of good, old-fashioned executive relief.

2. You're at a party. Someone comes over and asks you your star sign. You:
A. Tell them to bugger off
B. Lay them one in the groin, then tell them to bugger off.
C. I don't go to parties.
D. I don't get invited to parties.

3. You're at the head of a large queue in front of a cash-register in a large department store. The register gives a >beep< and stops dead. You:
A. Wait patiently
B. Plant all the stuff you were going to buy in a nearby baby carriage and call the store detective (to while away the time)
C. Break out your ever-present C64 notebook and try to debug the thing
D. I don't know

4. You're shopping for some personal hygiene equipment when the chemist runs up saying the prescription database on his 386 is corrupt. You ask:
A. What's a prescription database?
B. What's a 386?
C. What's personal hygenie?
D. What was the question again?

5. A friend wants to borrow a record off you. You :
A. Lend it out, and tell them it's a boomerang.
B. Tell them to go buy it.
C. Consult the database to see that status of the record concerned
D. Sell it to them for a beer.

6. You'd most like to meet:
A. The person who wrote "Gulag Acapeligo"
B. The person who wrote "War and Peace"
C. The person who wrote MS-DOS
D. A person who can write

7. You win a "Grocery-Grab" at a local supermarket. You've got one minute to pack a cart with as much stuff as you can. You start:
A. In the liquor section
B. In the confectionary lane
C. At the pencil bar
D. At the cash register

8. You've been hit by a car and your life flashes before your eyes. The thing you remember most vividly is:
A. Your Mother's voice as a child
B. Your first love
C. The ASCII table.
D. The car's tire pressure was maybe a little too high

9. You get to compete on blind date. You have one statement to change the choosers mind about you. You say:
A. I've got a 12 inch tongue
B. I can go all night
C. I've got a 386SX with 64K ram cache
D. I've killed 5 people

10. You feel naked without your:
A. Electric guitar
B. Wallet
C. VT100 reference guide
D. Axe

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Page updated February 12, 2009.  See Terms and Conditions of use!