Email Forwarding RANT
December 2008

It's comforting to know that so many of my friends think enough of me to pass along important information when they come across it.  I would be really nice, however, if my friends would take an extra moment to run emails they receive through their bullshit meters before they go ahead and hit the [Forward] button and propagate stupid lies and ridiculous fabrications to everyone in their email contact lists.

More often than not, just thirty seconds at a web site like Snopes.com would be enough to figure out whether the bozo that sent you the email was wasting your time.  If you feel something is important enough to tell everyone you know, then it's important enough to research the information independently.  This is the INFORMATION AGE, folks.  It's not like you have to sift through a huge encyclopedia set, visit the library or call the New York Times' research department.  Knowledge is at your fingertips but it's not going to voluntarily run from the mouse, up your sleeve and jump into your friggin' skull.  Seek it out.  Enrich yourselves for once, you numb-skulled automatons.

But it gets even worse.  The latest angle now, is these stupid emails saying "I verified this on Snopes", then going right on with their unbelievable bullshit.  And guess what...  YOU FUCKING IDIOTS BELIEVE IT!!!  You swallow it whole, then before any of the words on the screen have even sunk into your feeble little minds, you hit that damned [Forward] button.

HOLY SHIT ON A FUCKING STICK.  GOD GAVE YOU A BRAIN - WHY THE HELL DON'T YOU BLOODY USE IT?!  How is it that people bright enough to work their computers aren't bright enough to consider even the most rudimentary scrutiny of emails they receive?

Thankfully most of you imbeciles don't understand how to use "BCC", so when you send me some email that is so full of shit that I don't even need to question it, I can sift through it and find the email addresses of every single imbecile who passed it along to you, and all the people you passed it along to, and I can email them all and explain exactly why you are all assholes.  Fuck you in your eyes, all of you.

 


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