Springtime rolls around as it always will until nuclear winter, and that familiar,
tinny music-box song of the Mr. Softee ice cream truck begins echoing through the
neighborhood once again. Children will become excited as the tune rings in their ears, and
they will uncontrollably need to run out to the truck to get their treats before it drives
off to another block.
Pavlovian, you say.
It may be more than that.
Have you ever noticed that Mr. Softee has no phone numbers? No address? Or that the
operators of Mr. Softee trucks are mysteriously oblique? Did you notice Mr. Softee doesn't
collect sales tax? Have you ever wondered why?
Mr. Softee is really a covert government-run operation studying mind control
and preparing to take control of America's young population. At a moment's notice,
thousands of Mr. Softee ice cream trucks could come rolling down America's streets playing
its innocent song. Children will run to the pied piper of ice cream and follow it with
blind loyalty into the hands of government automatons, who will enslave America's children
into mindless robots working toward the government's cause of pointless self-perpetuation
and civil obedience.
Worse still, the profits from the Mr. Softee operation go toward the continued funding
and growth of the government mind control research.
Stay tuned, or not...